It Takes a Long Time to Build Trust - It Takes One Action to Destroy That Trust

"I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself" - Robert E. Lee


"People ask me why it's so hard to trust people. I ask them why it's so hard to keep a promise." - Unknown


"It takes a long time to build trust. It takes one action to destroy that trust."


Are you helping yourself and your business by being a dependable, trustworthy person? Or are you making the consistent mistake of changing your mind and, more importantly, what you say, and what you tell people, for the goal of obtaining short-term profits? Or, as the old saying goes, are you tripping over the quarter to pick up the penny?

Are you building the image of a person that the people around you can trust to do what they say they will do, when they say they will do it, on time, every time? Are you working everyday to build that trust amongst your coworkers, clients, business partners and customers so that they know, that you are a 100% trustworthy person who they can depend on and, in the case of your coworkers and partners will work for and follow through thick and thin?


If you are not doing that, you are making a big mistake and you are damaging your business chances of success on the long term.


I work with a guy whom I trusted and worked hard with for ten years. Oh sure, sometimes we get into disagreements on how our business should be run, but, ultimately we are heading for the same destination so sometimes there will be differences on how to get to the goal. That's okay. As long as we are going to the same place, then it's okay to argue on how to get there; maybe he wants to take the train and I want to take the bus.


Recently though, we have been getting into disagreements because he keeps making promises to people and breaking them. I wince when this happens. In the life of a business, it's okay for a company to test the waters and see how things and new business plans float. Sometimes, perhaps even often, it's okay to stop in mid-stream and cancel projects or even completely change the direction of the company. But I don't think it is okay to make promises to people that you are going to "do this" or "do that" on Monday then, on Tuesday, tell them that you won't do what you promised.


Like I said, businesses change. It's okay to change and change your mind. Breaking promises is something that happens sometimes, but breaking promises to different people once a week or everyday is completely out of line and way over-board.


I had to have a polite word with him about it yesterday. It was a good talk.


One day, about one month ago, the boss of another famous company in Japan called me up. His business had dropped 30% over this last 12 months. He told me that he needed to do something and he wanted me to come up with a new promotion plan for his new service which was starting up in 2.5 months. He wanted me to do it because he said he knows my reputation and he needed a "quick to react" plan. That's what I excel at. Within a week of his asking, I had spoken to several of my trusted people in my buzz marketing network and arranged a comprehensive plan that ran for 6 months starting within 3 weeks! I presented it to him and he said he loved it and wanted to do it for certain.


He also told me that he needed to clear it with his staff but it shouldn't be a problem. That was a Friday. He promised me that he'd call me back that next Monday. He didn't call back. The next day, Tuesday, I sent him an email since time was critical. There was no reply. I also sent an email on Wednesday and Friday, still, no answer. The next week, I called him up and spoke with him on the phone and he said the staff were all right and he wanted to talk with the local government organization for the promotion. I stressed, once again, that we were losing valuable time. He said he understood and he promised me he'd call me back that evening. 


He didn't call.


The same thing the following week. Finally, three weeks after the first meeting, I spoke with him on the phone on a Monday. He profusely apologized for not getting back to me and then he said, "I am keen to go on these plans. I'll definitely get back to you Wednesday, Thursday at the latest."


He didn't call me back again! That's 3 times he promised to call me back and didn't. 


Now, I know everyone is busy, but too busy to pick up the phone and make a 20 second phone call? I don't believe that. 


Now some people will say, "Maybe he just can't say 'No!'" but this is a foreigner we're talking about. Not a Japanese. So saying, "No!" shouldn't be a problem. 


The plan I came up with was contingent on a few other parties getting involved. It was an organic buzz marketing solution. This means that there are two or three other companies or entities that tie up for the promotions and create a synergy to promote an entire concept to a much wider audience than if the promotion was ran by just one company.


In some of the pieces of the promotion, I talked to two of the most famous companies in Japan to become partners with this initial company that contacted me ran by this foreigner. These other two companies are huge organizations and we have done several organic, buzz marketing promotions together over these last 4 years. They completely trust me and I trust them.


They know that I am going to do what I say I will do. I know they will reciprocate; they will always do what they say they are going to do. That's how you build trust. That's why we enjoy working together.


This foreign boss who can't even call people back when he says that he's going to call? I didn't tell him to call on "Wednesday, or Thursday night at the latest" he volunteered that by himself.


Is this person trustworthy? Do I want to allow this sort of person into my trusted network of folks who work in organic and buzz marketing? Do I feel confident that this person won't piss off my other partners? Would you, dear reader, trust this person and introduce him to your trusted partners? 


No way. I don't think so.


I gave this guy a chance and tried to trust him, but now I can't. I don't want to work with him. I can't. 


I now understand why his business is down 30% over the last year. No surprise there. Does it surprise you? 


I also know that he is going to call me and, at the last minute, ask me to arrange the promotions, but I am going to have to decline. I can't depend on this guy not to make me look bad to people whom I've worked with and built a reputation of trust. I've mentioned before that sometimes the jobs you reject are just as important as the jobs you keep. Heck, if we're not going to do great work, then I don't want to do it. 

Incredibly, the "Untrustworthy meter" does go to minus eleven

Like I said, 


"It takes a long time to build trust. It takes one action to destroy that trust."


This guy has committed three of those "one actions." I can't trust him. I mean, would you?


Don't be like this guy. Build trust.


It's hard to measure the value of trust in a relationship but we know the cost of losing it.

Repercussions of Irresponsible Flyjin Management

Immediately after the March 11, 2011 earthquake, tsunami and nuclear accident, many foreigners panicked and fled Japan. At that time, I was sharply critical of many members of the foreign community for doing so.

As a seasoned veteran of the mass media, I knew from decades of experience that one must always take with a huge grain of salt what is broadcast on the mass media as "news." On this very blog I reported about many past exaggerations. On March 18, in the midst of the disaster, and while events were unfolding, I warned people not to believe the mass media sensationalism. In the post entitled: Japan Nuclear Disaster Update and Strong Criticism of Western Media Sensationalism I wrote: 

The western media is having a field day with the nuclear accident in Japan. If you believe them, you'd think all of Japan were underwater and that we are all about to die. This sort of crass sensationalism is a damned disgrace and you should be very skeptical of what these idiots are telling you. The guys working in the news are wishing for big stories. If they can't get them, they make them.

Remember my Golden Rule about TV: "90% of everything you see on TV is bullshit; the other 10% are commercials."

Actually, it astounds me that people do accept what what the media says as gospel truth. Don't forget that this is the very same media that told us 3 years ago that Swine Flu was going to kill more than 50 million people worldwide. This was the same media that told us that the USA had to invade Iraq because of Saddam's nooklar weapons. This was the same media that told us that SARS also was a killer virus that was going to wipe out entire populations. This was the same media that told us that Bird Flu was going to do the same.

As of today, worldwide deaths from Swine Flu: 82. No nuclear weapons for Saddam (if he had any, do you really think we would have invaded Iraq?). Worldwide deaths from SARS: 100. Worldwide deaths from Bird Flu: 80. Don't even get me started on Man Made Global Warming!

Fact of the matter is that this is the same media who constantly exaggerates stories in order to sell advertising space to an extremely gullible public. When will people ever learn? If history is any example then the answer is: Never. They'll never learn.

Even so, that some people - especially those with pregnant wives or small children - decided to send their families away just to be on the safe side, these people deserve no criticism. The ones who deserve strong criticism are the foreign management who left their positions of management all the while claiming to take business trips while leaving their Japanese staff to hold the fort.

If they thought it was so dangerous that they had to leave then, as management, they had a duty to take care of their Japanese staff first. The captian is not the first to abandon ship. 

Besides deserving scorn and ridicule those people don't deserve their jobs.

I wrote about this sort of poor management in Tokyo Crisis Update: Nuclear Meltdowns, Drama Queens, TV News and Coca Cola

....all the foreign upper-management have gone on unspecified "business trips" (with their families) and have left no return date to their staff. I could tell from the way she said it and her attitude  that she and her husband were disgusted at these people. What dedicated and responsible management, eh? What a great way to build respect for management.

I will, here, take this chance to strongly criticize the foreign management of Coca-Cola Japan for showing such a compete lack of responsibility to their employees and to the Japanese people. So much for Corporate Social Responsibility, eh Coca-Cola? Also, so much for dedication to your work and company. Leaving on a "business trip"? Disgusting. Don't you clowns have the guts to even say that you are running away? Saying that it is a "business trip" allows you to get paid from your company at the same time you skirt your responsibilities all the while you expect that your staff and workers continue on like everyday? If I were your boss, we'd definitely have more than a few words about this. I'd probably fire you.

I can understand you sending your family away... But you running away too? And then expecting to get paid and your employees to carry on in your absence at the same time!? 

Scandalous.

So much for the days of the captain being the last to leave a sinking ship. And, in this case, the ship is not even close to sinking. Coca-Cola wussies. I'll never drink that stuff again.

At that time, I also warned that fleeing foreign management and their corporations one extremely important message. That was a message of trust and respect between the Japanese staff and their foreign management. Never forget that, in any relationship, be it work or personal, it takes years of effort and dedication to build trust. It takes just but one action to destroy that trust.

That's what this post is about. It is a report from a conversation I had last night with a Japanese staff person and what she told me that her 25 or so Japanese colleagues think of their foreign boss because he ran away, lied and claimed he was on a business trip so that he could collect money (call this what you want, but I think most people with common sense would call it theft) and yet left the Japanese to stay on at work as if nothing happened.

Now, let me say a word about this company that this lady works at; I have been to that company many times over these past 8 years. This is a very demoralized company. The atmosphere in the company is very negative and the staff, when not in the office, ridicule the management openly... (it is strange that some of them would so easily and quickly ridicule management to me as I am a stranger to many of them). This company has all the makings of a company heading for bankruptcy. It reminds me of a run down government office. It is dirty, dark and the employees are not motivated at all to do a good job. The employees at that company are all just sliding by doing the minimum of effort they need to do to get by. 

And why not? Why should they do more than their "leader" does?

This lady told me with gritted teeth that their boss ran away during the crisis and returned as if nothing happened. She was still very angry five months later! The Japanese staff were dumbfounded when he ran away. They felt that they were expected to stay and work everyday (they did). Their boss took his family away to Okinawa and stayed in a 5 star hotel sending his meeting itinerary to the office everyday. She mockingly told me that he, 

"Sent us his itinerary as if he had business meeting in a Okinawa hotel three times a day for three weeks! Everyone in the office knew he had no such meetings. He just sent in those forms and schedule so that he could get paid. Unbelievable!"

That's just scandalous and, no matter how you slice it, claiming a business meeting in an Okinawa hotel everyday for three weeks is just plain stealing from the company. Talk about just asking for his staff to disrespect him. 

When he returned, there was no apology, no nothing. Here's a guy who exhorts the troops to go out a do a good job? What a disgrace.

Let me give another important aspect of this case to you, dear reader to consider. 

One of the biggest complaints that foreigners and foreign management have of the Japanese is that they do not take initiative and that they do not take responsibility. It is commonly complained about by the foreigners that the Japanese must be told what to do or they will do nothing. I am not here to argue this point at all. I am just passing along what is a common complaint about the Japanese.

I have, though, heard this very same foreign boss say this exact thing to me before.

This woman also related this part: Just before this foreigner left his company, he hurriedly called the staff and told them that he was going on a business trip to Okinawa and that, during the Fukushima disaster, that they can decide what to do by themselves. Then he left in a rush.

This woman who relayed this story to me told me that the Japanese staff held a meeting after that and they didn't know what to do. She said they didn't understand what he meant. She did say though that people were scathing about this foreigner and sharply critical of his lack of leadership. 

By his saying that they could "decide what to do" mean that they could leave and go home? Did it mean that they would still keep their jobs if they did so? If they did go home, would they still get paid? This incompetent foreigner failed to do the minimum that was required of him.

On the one hand, he complains that the Japanese can't decide what to do by themselves, then on the other hand, he tells them to decide what to do by themselves?! What a dimwit.

Any competent leader would have said, "I am leaving with my family until the situation is clear. Please go home to take care of your families and wait for my contact on what to do after that and when it is safe to return to work. If you need me, here is my contact. I am available for you anytime."

Like I said, this is what a competent leader would have said. But, then again this guy is far from competent.

Now, after reading the above, is it any wonder why the Japanese staff do not work hard at this company? Is it any wonder why they are completely demoralized? Is it any wonder why they don't respect their boss? What is a wonder is why the owners of this company do not fire this guy and the second wonder of the world is why the Japanese staff don't hate this guy with a passion and openly revolt! 


(An interesting side note, though... this guy must know that his staff hate him and have zero respect for him... How can he stand his job? Or, gulp, is he really that clueless and incompetent?)

It's been now nearly 5 months after the Fukushima disaster began. The radiation situation in Tokyo is no worse or no better than it was 5 months ago. The foreigners have for the most part returned.

The only thing that has changed is the disregard and lack of respect that the Japanese staff now have for their foreign management that ran away.

It seems to be would now be wise for corporations in Japan to investigate and review how their "leaders" acted in this crisis and take appropriate actions to remedy situations that are not conducive to company culture and profits.