Need More Time? Too Much Stress? Stop Drinking!

Sometimes work just seems to get out of hand and, no matter what you do, it seems like there's not enough time in the day to get done all the things you need to. I've had this experience many times.

In fact, from the middle of 2011 to the end of the year, I felt this way constantly. I was carrying a heavy schedule and also had serious stress from dealing with partners and investors. Sometimes it seemed that I had no one to talk to.


I was doing my best to go out and make sales for my new company and, due to the nature of the business, that meant going out at night and drinking with clients and potential customers. That's really where the problem begins; I like to drink. Sometimes I like it too much.


In Japan, it is very common for business deals to be worked out, not at the office, but at a drinking establishment. I've concluded hundreds of deals this way.

I've concluded so many deals the good old Japanese drinking way that I don't even remember them all.


I also don't remember, often times, how I got home after making those deals. I just woke up the next morning, in bed, with a massive hangover. That's the problem with drinking; it's hard to be a social drinker for me. I like to drink and I like the feeling I get when the alcohol "warms me up." Especially if I am at a rock concert or dealing and meeting with music industry related people.


Even so, I've gone periods when I drank every night for months. I've also gone periods when I didn't drink at all for months. Alcohol is a very powerful drug and your body will still feel the effects of it long after you've stopped drinking. I noticed that, in the times I'd go for months without a drink that if I had even one beer, I'd feel tired the next morning. Really! Even one drink at night will have a sedative effect on you the next morning when you wake up.


If I don't drink for about three or four days, the tiredness feeling starts to go away. Seriously, that's how long it takes; three or four days. If you go without a drink for about a week or two, then you will have completely flushed the alcohol out of your system and start to feel much more energetic.


So, if you are a regular drinker, try that: one day without even a taste of alcohol will make you feel better the next morning. Two weeks will make you feel much better and younger. If you go on a raw food diet and don't drink for six months, you will lose 20 kilograms (44 pounds) and feel like you are 17 years old again. I know, I've done that. (Actually doing that again is my New Year's resolution - that is starting today!!!!)

When I stopped drinking and went completely raw food for six months, I lost 17 kilograms.

This photo was two years ago.

I want to do that again. But I digress....


This is a post about creating more time in your day by abstaining from alcohol. You really can lighten your work load and create more time by doing so.


Last year, in the middle of November, I went to work and saw an old friend of mine who was the founder of a multi-million dollar company and retired a millionaire before 50-years-old. We had a nice talk and I told him that I was extremely over worked, tired and hung-over (funny that, being tired and hung over is not conducive to efficient work and time usage). I told him that I was out with a business acquaintance of ours that we've both known for years. That business acquaintance's name is Ray.

My image of Ray Hearn as a father just kidding, of course!

Ray is a world famous concert promoter. He founded Beatink in Japan. That means he does live the life of "Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll" (no drugs in Japan, of course). Ray is a wild one. Wildly successful and wildly crazy sometimes. The night before I had dinner with Ray and we started at 5:00 and by 9:00 pm we had drank a few cocktails and (I think) four bottles of wine. After that, we went back to Ray's house and watched Japanese sixties Sci-Fi Horror flicks. There we drank at least another six bottles of wine. I lost count. The next thing I knew it was 3:30 am and I told Ray that I just had to go home. Ray started yelling,


"Mike Rogers you wimp! Get back here and let's drink some more wine!" 


He was still yelling when I crawled out of the house and I am sure Ray and his girlfriend drank some more (well, actually she doesn't drink that much - Ray drank more)... Like I said, I stumbled out the door and slithered down the stairs to the street. I don't remember how I got home.... Typical.


The next day I had a hellacious hangover and four important meetings to attend to.


That brings me back to meeting and talking with my retired at 50-years-old millionaire friend in the middle of November. I told him about drinking with Ray and he laughed. He knew too well what drinking with Ray was like. I told my friend about how I was burning the candle at both ends and I asked for advice on how I could open up more time for myself. He smiled and laughed and said, 


"Stop drinking."


I protested. How can I stop drinking in Japan? A country that has a culture of sales and personal business relationships built on deals made over drinks?


My friend smiled once again. He said,


"I know another extremely wealthy president of another company who had the same problem so he went to a retired businessman he greatly respected to ask for advice. The retired businessman told him to stop drinking. The wealthy president claimed the same as you do, 'impossible to stop drinking because of the ways of business in Japan.' The retired businessman said, 'Yes. That is true. But drinkers will also understand the sufferings of other drinkers. Tell your friends that you have some sort of illness that prevents you from drinking.'"


That was like a light going off in my head. It's true. I know from experience. When I had a terrible gout attack, and had to stop drinking, none of my friends pressured me to drink: they all felt really sorry for me! Really!


Trust me. Many (most?) guys who drink who are in their fifties or later have had drink-related problems or know someone very close to them who has. We do feel sorry for you if you don't want to drink.

Being a teetotaller has had a very uncool image for years! 

The moral of the story? If you want to feel better and be more productive and wake up fresher, stop drinking. If your peers pressure you, I gave you a good excuse just now: Just say you have gout or border-line diabetes. They'll stop bothering you (or they're not your friends!) By feeling better and being more alert and alive, you will get more work done in a much faster and more efficient process. You probably can't cut down all those meetings, but you can help yourself to get a better rest and to feel younger and more energetic and clear-headed if you stop drinking for a few weeks.


Now, that's how you create more time and less stress for yourself.

Nah. I stopped that three years ago.

As for me, I'm getting ready to start working the new year in earnest from this Tuesday. It takes a lot to get myself ready and mentally prepared to go out and do my best. But I have decided to do it. I want to do it for work, for my health and to help me spend more time with my family. 


I am going to eat raw foods only for a few months and stop drinking starting today. Wish me luck? Any readers out there who wish to join me for a cup of tea?


Thanks to: my dear friends Ray Hearn and Koji Kamibayashi

Vacation is a State of Mind - How to Get The Truly Wonderful Things in Life

"Vacation used to be a luxury, but in today's world it is a necessity." - Unknown 

Japan sure has a lot of holidays. I like that about Japan. I mean, who doesn't like holidays? "Holiday" means that it is time to spend away from work and with family. 


Too bad not enough people take advantage of that.


It's a Saturday and the start of a three-day weekend here in Japan. I hope that I can take this holiday and use it to rest more and spend more time with my son and other children.... 


I shouldn't say "hope. I should say, "I will." I must have the state of mind that "I do" and not "I hope." 


"I hope" is a pretty terrible business plan. 

Barbecuing trout that we caught fishing near Atsugi

This post is for you good folks with children. Everyone who has children thinks, "Our children grow up so fast." But I think, more often than not, that's where the thinking stops. We should add to that thinking, "How can I add to what little time I have left with these kids?" We must always remember to stop and smell the roses along the way.


My son is now 8-years-old. Why, just the other day, it seems, he was a baby.


Heck, it seems just like yesterday, he was born. I can remember it well. He was born at about 2:30 in the morning at a hospital in Tokyo. My wife's parents were both there. My son being born was a big deal for them as he is the first and only boy in the entire family. Everyone else has had girls. Being "number one son" is a very important and traditional role in Asian societies.


I remember after he was just born, for about the first two years of his life, I would take him in the stroller for walks everyday that wasn't too cold or raining and go to the park and back. It was about a one hour walk, round trip. Starting when he was 6 months old, until he was six-years-old, I would go to bed with him at night, every night, and we would read books together. I like to think that's why he is such an advanced reader. He had read the children's classic "Charlotte's Web" by the time he was 4 years old. I did that religiously until he entered into first grade.


Within three months of first grade, he was jumped up to second grade and his school work load increased and, with that, time with dad decreased. That was almost two years ago. Now, he is in 3rd grade at school. 


Everyone has memories like this about their kids too. 

My son and second daughter, Sheena

Now I look at him and I just sigh. He will soon be nine. He has his own iPad, computer, friends at school... He goes to Karate class, takes music and piano lessons and spends time with friends. Heck, he has an hour or more of homework every night and piano practice too! Sure, he still likes to spend time with mom and dad, but I know from experience that, from 4th grade, kids really start to spread their wings and will, little by little, stop spending so much time with mom and dad. 


Time goes by so fast.


One thing that I saw in his room last night that made me chuckle and remember my own experiences as a child and times with my own father, rest in peace, was a book that he had checked out from the school library. It was entitled "How to Beat Your Dad at Chess." I picked the book up and laughed. Surely, beating your dad at chess is a mountain to climb when you are a boy. Once you do it, you will see other mountains to climb. But this book shows that still dad is #1... But not for long. 

I write this blog post now because I want to stress to you fathers out there and remind you that, even though Christmas just ended and the New Year's Holidays are over, that doesn't mean that we should go back to "business as usual." Yes, of course we must work and feed our families, but isn't it also a good time to access what we have and to try to appreciate it more?

Isn't it a good time to slow down and to try to enjoy what we have while we have it?

Yesterday, I met a friend at the grocery store whom I hadn't seen for quite a while. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked about my work and I asked about his. The part of the conversation that really stuck in my mind was his final comment,

"At least we both have jobs. I know a lot of people who are out of work." Come to think of it, I reckon that I do too. We are lucky, we have jobs and we have families.

I know, though, far too many fathers who are chasing the all mighty dollar and exchanging their time with their families for money. I don't mean some of their time, I mean all of their time. I know fathers who are away from their families for months, even years. I think they have lost sight of the purpose of work. 

In Japan, we have what is called "Tanshin Funin." Father's are transferred away from their families and miss out on seeing their children grow up. I even know one family where the father lived away for over ten years! Does it surprise dear reader that, ultimately, those parents divorced?

I'd never do that. While I might transfer for a few months or maybe six, I quit I'd quit my job instead of living away from my family on a semi-permanent basis. Why? Heck, the kids are only children once. What is the price of missing out on seeing them and growing with them?

Of course, the example above is an extreme case, but how many of us dads leave for work from early in the morning and do not come home until after the kids are asleep and we do that six days a week? On Sundays, we are so dead tired that we sleep all day? How is that enjoying life and spending time with the kids? 

What do we work for? We work to feed and house our families so that they can be happy. How can a family truly be happy without the father around to enjoy all the fruits life gives us daily?

I have often written about how I write down my goals for life and for that day in my notebook. I do it religiously everyday. I have written before about that One Step to Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful in Life:

I write down my goals every day religiously in the morning when I wake up and, not only does doing so help me to achieve them, it also helps me to relax and stay much more focused through the day. Who doesn't want to stay more focused in this day and age when our "in-box" includes, for most people, several e-mail accounts that are constantly filling up as the day goes by and consistently altering our priorities? Add on an Internet world filled with Social Media like Facebook and Linkedin accounts to attend? Twitter is no longer for just sending messages to your friends, but it too, has been co-opted into the business world and your boss orders you to use them, or blogs and SNS, to get the company message out...

How in the world can anyone today get ahead of the pile in the "in-box"? Any person in their right mind would be stressed.

.....let me point out that writing down your goals and purposes is like having a sort of road map to where you want to go. When you write them down, they enter your subconsciousness and they cause your inner brain to focus upon the Law of Attraction. If you do not write down where you want to go — if you do not have a map — then how will you know where you are going?

I recently have started writing down two more things in my daily notes. I wouldn't call them "goals" necessarily, but in the effort to create the "Law of Attraction," I write them down to try to make sure they come true. Those two goals are:

1) Thank you god for all the wonderful things I have and all the truly wonderful things I am about to receive.

2) All my loved ones are healthy and prosper.

From today, I think I am again going to add something more:

3) I spend one hour today with my son playing a game or reading a book together.

Dads (and working moms) remember that family fun and spirit of Christmas you had the other day? Remember the warmth and feeling of "family" when you share time together? Isn't there a song that says, "I wish everyday could be like Christmas?" Of course, we have jobs to do and bills to pay, but remember over this weekend and at every chance you get with your kids to make those moments special. 

Like I said, I know everyone is busy, so lastly, here's a quick tip to help you:

Trying to spend more time with your kids is tough, but here's a simple way to do that better. Here is a good way to better the time that you do spend together and it's so simple, if even for only a few moments a day: 


Whenever your child talks to you give them your total attention; put down that newspaper or cellphone; Close the computer laptop. Look them straight in the eye and show complete interest in what they say when they are talking. Give your child your total self and complete undivided attention. Give them your all. Listen - really listen - to what your child has to say.

Show your child that you love them and respect them. As I wrote in Most Men Die With Regrets:

Share time now with your children because now isn't coming back ever again. Give your child a hug and spend time with them while you can.

The future is coming sooner than you can imagine. Don't kid yourself. No matter how much time you spend with your children, one day, you'll wish you had spent more. Do it now. 

Today is the start of a wonderful weekend. Start making great memories and spending more time with your children today.


NOTE: Lastly to help you more appreciate what we have, please enjoy this wonderful short video sent to me by my dear friend Paul Kitabayashi. It brought a tear to my eye.

Have a wonderful weekend!