Empathy Survey - How Do You Feel When You See a Child Suffering?

I just bought a book by one of my favorite political columnists, Ted Rall. In the foreword, he talks about compassion and empathy. 


He wrote about a time he saw a homeless man and thought, "Thank god, if it weren't for a few lucky breaks, that could have been me." I've thought the same thing before many times too.


How about you?


I agree with what Ted writes in the book and will have a review of "The Year of Loving Dangerously" soon... But, until then, this...


I wonder about people today and think there are far too many people who feint compassion and concern, but it's all an act. Take, for example, the disaster of the earthquake and tsunami of March 11 in Japan. So many people I know were actually sincere and got off their asses and did something...


But I also thought there were way too many people who only helped and contributed because it made them look good doing so. There's nothing so wrong with that, I suppose, as long as people are honest with themselves and open about intentions.


There's a word for this and it's Crocodile Tears.


I also think that there is far too little compassion and empathy amongst people today as a general rule.


Take, for example, the poor people who have suffered in Fukushima and Miyagi prefectures. Terrible situation indeed... But the mass media seem to have gone on and people are losing interest.


Is it human nature to do so? Or are we all just robots with heart strings being pulled by the mass media?


I wonder why people will get together to make (at least the appearance of) an effort to help people who are on TV and suffering far away, yet, in their own neighborhoods, they scorn and look down upon the unfortunate in their own neighborhoods?


For those ends and my own research, I've made a survey at the right of this blog. It is asking the question:


"When you see a homeless person, what do you think?"


I hope you will help me by taking 5 seconds to answer the question (as many answers as you wish)... I will post the results on 10/31/11. 


Note: I changed the name of this post from "When you see a homeless person, what do you think?" to "How Do You Feel When You See a Child Suffering?" Because I know that if I write "Homeless" that is a distasteful subject and many will not bother to read the post.

Soredemo Ikite Yuku eps 9-11

I finally caved in last night. I just could not bear the wait for ep 9 subs and then the long wait for the last two. This isn't KDO where you could watch it raw for the story and enjoy the dialogue again with the subs. The emotional impact when first watching is important and lack of comprehension would dilute the experience/enjoyment.

There was a risk but this wasn't Hagetaka the movie with all the technical terms. I gave it a go and suffice to say episode 9 and 10 were pretty awesome with ep 11 being a lot calmer. Nothing could match the emotional kettle peg of ep 8 but the quality of the acting and story doesn't stop.

I just love how Soredemo can tackle the frequently used subjects of revenge, responsibility and forgiveness in jdoramas and avoid all the pitfalls and conventions that make most jdoramas very preachy. It is testament to the writing and acting whereby the characters do not need to voice out their emotional turmoils and how they come to terms with things. They actually do but they say it in a way that it feels like they are telling the other person, not the audience.

Soredemo is so non judgmental. We get to see Kenji as this cold blooded, unfeeling murderer. We get to see him like a kid, scared to remember what he had done when confronting Aki's mom in ep 8. We find out about his traumatic childhood but its not offered as an excuse. He tries to absolve himself of responsibility by blaming it on Futaba. He blames his father and at the same time he wants his father to acknowledge him. Kenji is what he is. A murderer, son and a brother.

Soredemo is a godlike dorama. It is invincible. Not many jdoramas can touch it. It is destined to be on my top 10 list of jdoramas, whenever I get around to it. Fukuda Mayuko may have a limited role but I'm pretty sure she got to take a small part in this show.

If you know a bit of kanji, I find watching it with Japanese subs helped with my understanding and is a great way to learn kanji besides playing the AKB48 game on my psp. I copy and pasted the Japanese subs onto google translate but it transted the counter for the lines as well, ie the first line was numbered 1 and it became 'one'. I think rewatching Soredemo and older jdoramas with Japanese subs is a pretty good idea. I'm running out of superlatives for Soredemo.  This is truly IMHO, a jdorama classic and everyone must watch it instead of generic crap like Zenkai girl which has 3000 downloads per sub.



VAGUE SPOILERS FOR ENDING

As for the ending... I get it but I just didn't get why it had to be so sad which the last episode was based around. Its not like they couldn't be in touch and stuff. Unless of course Futaba thinks of it as a punishment for her. That she should be happy while Yuri's mom is still in the hospital.

It doesn't bother me that much cause this is a character based dorama and Futaba made that choice which I can respect. I really like the last bit where they are trading letters/lines and its just awesome scenery with rolling piano music. I just don't buy the 'we can't meet again' cause I'm going to be Yuri's mom' bit cause there's emails, skype, mobile phones and cars/trains to meet up on weekends unless there was an obvious 'we can't meet' cause I can't be happy thing that Hiroki understood. Need to wait for subs to see how it works.

Some other stuff that I loved:

- Hiroki becoming almost like an enlightened monk in ep 9, free from the shackles of hate and the past. Query where Futaba can ever be free or should she free herself? Is atonement for her brother necessary? Perhaps it is for her to find peace.

- The flying kick. I was laughing and having the feeling of WTF at the same time. After all the crying, it all the anger that is buried is unleased as she pushes the policeman aside like a rag doll. Lol. And the flashback at the beginning of episode 12 makes it even better.

- Yuri's mom didn't wake up. Forced happy endings have no place in dramatic stories.

- Alas, Kurashina Kana turned out to be merely a plot device and a sounding board for Hiroki to voice his thoughts. :(

Social Media Throws Common Sense and Manners Out the Window

I just got a notice from Twitter that an "Automated Mailing Service" has now started following me. I suppose they mean that they want me to start following them back? An automated robot junk-mailing service wants me to start following them? Are they kidding? Why in the world would anyone follow a automated junk mailing service?


Maybe they got my mailing address confused with the mailing address of my kitchen toaster? Maybe she'd be interested in junk mail generated by a robot. I'm not.  

L7 - SH*TLIST

Today the rules on manners and how friends, acquaintances and strangers alike are treated have been turned on its head.


Social Media, as a supposed source of bringing more people together faster, has also brought along with it a distinct lack of common sense and manners 


In the race to accumulate as many fake friends and followers as possible, tradition and common courtesy have been thrown out the window.


It used to be that little things that we took for granted as to how our privacy were to be respected are  today viewed as relics of the prehistoric past. Facebook, Twitter and the rest of the Social Media landscape set the rules as to who matters and who doesn't in today's world.


As if having thousands of "friends" or "followers" most of whom you've never met (or even many who you paid for) actually matters to anyone excepting the narcissist living inside of one's self.


The rules of common courtesy used to dictate silly things like don't call people up at home after eleven pm... Eleven? I remember when it was nine pm!... They also emphasized the importance of an introduction from a mutually trusted and respected friend... Now, if by some chance someone get's your email address, you become fair game for a litany of junk mail and memberships into clubs and associations that you've never asked for nor, in many cases, have you ever even heard of!


I get tons of mail from Facebook and Linkedin (don't forget Twitter) notifying me of this or that. I don't mind the birthday notices or notices for events that I signed up for but I really hate the notices that congratulate me for becoming a member of some community that I didn't sign up for.


Someone has met me once... That, in some strange way, let's them think that gives them the right to sign me up for their community they've started on Facebook... Well, it doesn't. In fact, that puts them on my sh*tlist.


Next time I write about this sort of bad behavior, I will begin to name organizations. Not that it matters what I say, but it's bad PR.


It's 2011, sure. And the rules of the games have changed slightly due to the Internet. But there's one rule that I doubt has changed in 2,000 years. People might know it, but then again, people today don't read books. So let's me explain it to you.


In the bible in Luke 6:31 it says, "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you."


Since you go and sign me up for communities and clubs without my permission, I'm sure you will warmly welcome all the clubs I sign you up for? Say, "Clubbing Baby Seals Association, " "Nazi's for Peace," or how about, "The 10,000 Coupons a Minute Club?" That's the smash success club that guarantees sending you, robotically, over one million coupons by email every 3 months so that you can save!


No?


OK. Then have some manners and common sense. Please don't join me up to your Social Media, or Twitter or Linkedin, Facebook, whatever community without asking me first.


Hopefully your parents did teach you better manners than that.

How can I be so blind!

While looking up calenders to buy for next year, came across the calender for Kurashina Kana. Nothing much to look at but there was something about her name that bothered me.

So did a search and what do you know, she's Satsuki from Soredemo Ikite yuku! However, that can't possibly be why the name rung a bell for me. Looked up google images and there was something oddly familiar. Can it be?

Yes, she's the girl on this Choya advertisement which greeted me everytime I took a train in Japan. I would pay $40 for the above picture in my room. I am ashamed that I was unable to link the smiling face that I saw everyday in Japan to the Tokyo girl in Soredemo who's purpose in the dorama is still unclear. In penance, maybe I should get her calender, though the cover looks pretty bad. Kurashina Kana looks infinitely better with a smile rather than a blank stare.

Marketing, Internet, SEO & SEM Experts? and CEOs? Charlatans Everywhere!

If you were to judge the amount of Tweets you get from people who claim to be Marketing, Internet, SEO and SEM experts or CEO's, you'd think the US economy was booming. Jobs galore. But it would all be just an illusion.

I often get Tweets from people who claim to be "Internet Marketing Experts" or "SEO Marketing Experts..." I wonder by what measure they use to give themselves this sort of classification? 

JERRY LEE LEWIS - YOUR CHEATIN' HEART

The ones that immediately raise red flags for me are the ones who claim to be "CEO" of some company yet, judging by their photo, they don't look to be much older than 25 or 30.

I've never met any good CEO's who were under 35-years-old. I'm not saying they don't exist, but the big guns and real players are not 30-year-old CEO's of little companies with classification of LLP, LLC or family organizations.

Those are the sorts of titles I hate. Why even bother with the title of CEO?  I mean, who are they trying to impress? Other clueless people? Clueless people usually haven't much money. Why impress them? 

What's the point of being a CEO of a dinky company that has one or two employees? Bragging about it is even more embarrassing. If you do that, stop... It might be OK for picking up some witless boyfriend or girlfriend, but for picking up any investment, it is a detriment.

It certainly isn't any credit to your worth or credibility.

Would you buy a used car from this man? How 

about letting him set up your company SEO?

Do these people use the CEO title because they think they can fool someone into investing into their little company or throwing a big contract at them? Maybe. But I don't think that will work.

"Fools and their money are soon parted"... Most rich people are not fools. That's why they are rich.

I haven't really noticed any serious CEO's using Facebook or Twitter too often. I suppose they do, but not too much. I do know that, and I won't say his name, the CEO of AirAsia X uses Facebook. We became friends that way... And I did arrange a few promotions for them in Japan because of it...

But I think he is the exception to the rule.

I don't think most CEO's have time to bother with this Social Media stuff. The CEO's I know avoid this, if they can, and I know from experience that they try to avoid even looking at their email if at all possible.... Spending time on Facebook and Twitter?! I don't think so. 

I get these invitations for Twitter and such, and, if the photo looks like a young guy and his title says "CEO" or "SEO expert" I know it's BS.... But I'm a nice guy, I friend them anyway... It's just quicker that way and I don't have to think about it for more than a second. Friending them takes one click. Deleting them takes two clicks. Friending them is faster. 

I check their photo and go to their Twitter page. If I don't see at least a blog or a company page, then I know they are bullsh*tters. That's OK. Everyone needs to start somewhere... Maybe they will learn some useful lessons along the way. I certainly have.

One of the big lessons I learned was not creating idiotic titles like CEO for myself when there are only one or two employees at my company in order to impress people I don't even know. Impressing people who haven't a clue is a waste of time... People who do have a clue will know it's BS, so it is actually self-defeating to do so.

Here's a good test for you. I never claim that I am an "SEO or "Internet expert" yet go to Google Search and search the words, "Japan China." You will get 1 billion 380 million results. On page one of search results you will also see two articles that I wrote. See here: http://bit.ly/rjaMbu

Even with that, I do not claim to be an SEO expert. 

If you are a customer, and the guy is telling to you to give him him your business because he is an "SEO expert" then give him this test:

1) Do they blog? If so, check their blog and see when they started. 


Blogging for six months is nothing to brag about. That's not even a rookie. Search some generic titles and see if you can find any results where they show up at the top of the list (and, no, I don't mean specific searches for the exact title of that particular blog post. I mean, if they write an article about, say, "Sicily pizza"... Search "pizza" or "Sicily" and see if you can find their article on the first few pages of results. If they are hot at SEO, you should be able to).

1a) If they do blog, check to see if they post everyday. Posting everyday for at least a year shows dedication and resolve (and that they are crazy). If they don't do that, or haven't, then they are poseurs and not players or, at best, students of the game.

2) Go look at their Facebook or Twitter account. Check the dates when they began. Is there a corporate page for this person's company? If not, forget it.     

On the other hand, If you are one of the many who are guilty of making these wild claims on expertise or being a "pro", then I suggest you stop. There are far too many charlatans running around as it is. If you get the label "charlatan" it will be quite hard to shake. 

Building trust and a good reputation takes a long time... It isn't made in an instant by creating a Twitter account and claiming, on the spot, that you are an expert. As former Soviet president Michale Gorbachev once said, "A lie told even ten thousands times never becomes the truth."

Stop claiming that you are "Internet savvy" if you are not. Just being able to do Internet searches or use G-mail does not make one internet savvy. Stop claiming you are a "CEO" unless you have a company that has at least, say, ten employees minimum...

And stop claiming that you are an "SEO expert" if you are not. It's easy to find out if it is all BS or not. You make the rest of us poseurs look bad....

You can become these "expert" things but just saying that you are or reading one book doesn't make you one. It will take a few years of effort and study.

The fastest and simplest way? Start a blog and start writing. Do that everyday, religiously. Use Twitter and Facebook to drive traffic to your posts. Write everyday religiously. Before, bowing to the east every morning, blog... Blog before that and after that... 


And blog before and after that!  


Study why some articles get many reads and why others don't. Practice and rearrange...

It will take you between one to two years to get a basic understanding of how it works and how to jolt your writing and titles to get high SEO results.

It's a close guarded secret by those who do know how to do it..

This stuff isn't written in a book. You only learn through sincere and dedicated effort. 


A jawbone is never a replacement for a backbone. Get started.

Risou no Kekkon eps 1-4

90s doramas have something different that we can't find anymore. I'm not talking about the giant suits that salarymen wear or the fact that people in that era think someone using a laptop on a flight is showing off. There's this kind of innocence and simplicity in them. Koukou kyoushi wasn't an innocent dorama but I find I cannot be cynical about oldies. Its like the overacting is different, it doesn't grate me like the ones today.

Risou no Kekkon starst with Tsutomu (Takenouchi Yutaka) meeting Mari (Tokiwa Takako) on a plane and next thing you know, he randomly proposes to her and she says yes. At this point I'm thinking WTF and where is this dorama going. Gotta go along with the premise and see where the story goes.

Mari is this emotional 26 year old girl from Osaka and Tsutomu is this smart salaryman who is dumb in other matters. Girls speaking kansai-ben is sexy though harder to understand. Mari's age and background is important because it touches on ideas from the 90s such as an OL's job is to get married by a certain age and the importance of wives to salarymen's careers.

Nowadays instead of romantisicing about an OL from the country finding her prince, its about uni girl dying from rare disease playing married couple with boyfriend because girls like projecting themselves onto sick beautiful creatures. There's a sort of chemistry going on between Tsutomu as the emotionally detached guy who seems to be on Xanax all the time and Mari who does all the talking and crying.

Why have I not thought of using spoons before? Probably cause there were not any places with hot waitresses in short skirts where I grew up.

At the end of episode one, we find out that the reason the proposal was so fast in the first episode was that this is going to be about the family war, especially between the mothers. Normally this would cause me to stop watching but when the mothers are being played by Nakama Yukie's mom from Trick and the old lady from Akimahende! I'm happy to make an exception to my no more evil mother in law doramas rule.

If the stupid idiot had lowered his spoon more, we could have seen some colour.

Risou no Kekkon emits warm fuzzy feelings but at the same time it seems more like high school students falling in love for the first time dorama than adults. One thing this dorama has given me is a very good reason to go eat at Anna Miller's next time I go Japan. The way the uniform emphasizes certain parts of the body is genius and I'd rather be served by a regular sized waitress wearing an Anna Miller uniform than one huge Hooters girl anyday.

Back to the dorama, Risou no Kekkon is pretty much what one would expect from a 90s dorama about an innocent couple getting married and both families who are against it. It doesn't do anything bad and there are plenty of funny moments especially Andy in ep 4 but its not good enough to be called a must watch. For fans of oldies like me, its worth your time though. Do check it out because they don't make doramas like they used to.

What is True Prosperity?

There is an ancient Chinese Buddhist Zen story about prosperity.


It goes something like this:


There was a very wealthy land-owning family in a village and one day they decided to build a huge family home on their land. This house was to be an almost palace in its grandeur for the entire area. There was no expense too great for this home as they wanted it to be a symbol of their family and they wanted it to stand for many years.


Once this great home was nearing completion, the grandfather and the sons called a famous priest to write a scroll blessing the family, the home and their future prosperity.


The priest accepted the job and went back to the temple to meditate.


After a short time he returned to the house and opened the scroll and proudly held it up on the wall.


The scroll said,


"Grandfather dies,


father dies,


son dies,


grandson dies."


The family were furious. They were enraged and began insulting the priest, threatening him and demanding that he take the scroll back and change what was written on it.


The priest sighed and, as he was rolling up the scroll, he looked and said to them,


"I am sorry that you are unhappy with my work. How do you wish me to change the order on the scroll?..."


The family were dumbstruck. They didn't know what to say. They didn't know how the order could be changed.


The priest heaved a sigh once again and unrolled the scroll and hung it on the wall.


He said,

"'Grandfather dies,

father dies,

son dies,

grandson dies.'...


That is true prosperity.

I Wish I Could Remain a Child Forever

I suppose it always happens like this for everyone. My father died last night. 


Last night, when I came home from work, I got a message that said, 


"Mike, 

I am so sorry to tell you this, your father passed away last night. I don't know the details, I am waiting for your brother to get home. Now he is at peace. 

Please call if you need to talk."

I don't need to talk about it. Just write, I suppose. 

When I heard the news, I wasn't shocked, but thought, "Gee, I just talked to him the other day and he seemed fine."

Well, maybe he wasn't fine but he sounded better than he did several weeks ago.

Before he died he told me that the only three things that ever mattered to him were the US marines, my mom and us three brothers.

My mom died about 16 years ago.

Hopefully, his spirit can reside with my mom's now. I said a prayer for him.

I have missed my mom all this time. I'll miss my dad. 

From today, now, I must take the position in my immediate family that my mom and my dad took. I must try to care for the children and make sure they are happy.

I used to be "the children" now I am the "grandfather."

I don't want to do the grandfather role. 

I wish I could remain a child forever. But I can't.


Today? Hug your parents if you still can and hug your kids... 


It seems like just yesterday that it was the 1960's and my parents had a house and a car. My mom was young and beautiful and she cooked, cleaned and took care of our school stuff... 


Dad was working, like all dads do... He also had black hair... He wrestled with us kids, took us to baseball games and he cooked barbecue... Like all dads do... 


One day, tomorrow is tomorrow and in the far-flung future... Then, one day, tomorrow is coming soon.... Then, out of the blue, tomorrow is here.


Soon, way too soon, tomorrow will be yesterday... Live it while you can!


NOTE: This is pretty weird, and I just realized it, but this is my 1000th posting on this blog. I was planning to write something profound for my 1000th... But all I got was this news that made me write this post about death... Weird, no?


Once again, in my life, with how these "coincidences" keep happening, I just have to throw my arms in the air and shrug my shoulders and say to the world, "Don't tell me that there's no God!"... (And I'm not even a Christian!)

Proof You're Getting Old: You Smell "Dusty"!

Please don't be offended at the title of this post. Do old people smell dusty? Do old people smell bad or funny?


Like I said, please do not get angry at me about this comment, direct your anger to my ex-friend Tom.


Let me explain... Tom insulted me the other day. He said I smelled like an "old guy." I thought we were friends.... Guess not.

GIORGIO ARMANI - AQUA DI GIO - WOMEN

I don't know, but this stuff looks like it smells like the ocean or maybe fish... 

Or, even fish bait. And what's the deal with that jet airplane and the boat?
Airplane fuel? Diesel? Fishes? Yeah! That's it. 
Smells like shark bait! "Oh baby! I love that salty smell!"

Remember when you were a little kid and your grandparents or some older family friends would come over to visit you? It would be someone like aunt Emma and uncle Fred from Philadelphia who your parents hadn't seen in ten years but they loved them so dearly. Remember?

In return, aunt Emma and uncle Fred loved you so much too. So much so that they sent you Christmas presents and birthday presents every year. You kind of knew who they were (in pictures with you when you were a very little baby) but you didn't remember them well.

Now they have come to visit. Remember? You were 10-years-old and they arrived at your house. You smile and are a bit shy. They insist on kissing you... Especially aunt Emma... 

Uncle Fred doesn't kiss.... He just shakes your hand and smells like old pipe tobacco or some old musky after-shave that you think he bought before the great war... No, I'm not talking about Vietnam... I'm talking about The Great War as in 1914.

Aunt Emma likes to kiss and hug you... Way too much. The hugging is bad enough because she smells like dusty lilacs or stale lavender and her teeth have lipstick spots on them... But the worst part of the kissing you all the time isn't that. It's the fact that when she kisses you she always slobbers on you too. And she slobbers a lot... Her slobber smells bad too... It kind of smells like boiled cabbage or corned beef hash.

Of course, the family dog slobbers on you too, and that disgusting enough, but at least the dog is afraid of your wrath and will stay away when you push him away... Aunt Emma? Afraid of you? Ha! She pounces on you every chance she gets like a desperately hungry Bengal tiger goes for a baby lamb with a gammy leg. Like devouring you whole, she hugs and kisses and slobbers on you every chance she gets. Oh! That sickening wet pond-scummy kiss! Yuck!

You can tell by just looking at her that she smells good.

Anyway, the point I am getting at is that, besides your aunt always slobbering on you, I think older people smell, well,.... different. Don't you think so?

Maybe, in the old days, smelling like a dusty barn or a moldy garage was sexy. I don't know. I wasn't there. But nowadays I think you have to smell like a famous movie star or something that smells like pheromones or whatever those smell like! 

Some dude named Orlando... I guess the girls

think he must smell good.

Don't get me wrong. I've always liked old people. They have the best stories to tell and they always have lots of great wisdom to pass on... I've learned a lot from old people. 


But darned if I didn't meet lots of them who smelled, well, they smelled "dusty."


Not that long ago, why it seems like it was just a few weeks ago, that I was 17-years-old... Heck, it was just the other day that I was in my twenties and thirties.... My current wife told me that she "loved my smell." 

I think I smelled like a wild stallion out at a stud farm... Hee, hee... Memories...

But, darn, now I'm 54... My wife is 41... I wonder if, to young people today, we have started smelling like dusty barns? No. It can't be! We were born after the Industrial Revolution so maybe our generation smells like old oily rags, broken down cars or burnt out transistor radios. 


You know, that burnt smell that worn out transistors made? Yeah. That must be it!


I still think that young girls probably smell nice. But I don't get the chance to smell them too often as doing that could be construed as a crime.... And, I don't appreciate it when people are sneaking glances at me while dialing 9-11 (in Japan it is 110 for police emergencies).


As I write this, my ex-friend, Tom, sits next to me. Let me ask him exactly "What do old people smell like?"


Tom says that, "People over 50 smell like old Japanese dusty pillows."


See? I told you he was a jerk. Right after he insults 75% of the entire population of the planet earth, Tom realizes his error and begins to try to kiss my a*s and says, "But I like the smell of old stinky pillows."


Yeah. Sure, you do, Tom. Sure. Stinky pillows? Wow! Can you imagine what that does for the self-esteem of us senior citizens?


Well, what's the point of all of this? I guess it is just another sign of growing old; younger people start to think you smell funny. Well, that might be true... But I am proud of my stinkiness. It is a badge of honor.


They say that one of the ways to grow old with class is to gracefully give up the treasures of youth. I didn't think that not smelling like a boys locker room was a treasure of youth, but I guess it is... And I have to give it up... Like my old socks...  


I don't want to smell nice anyway... It just means that I'd have to take a shower everyday and brush my teeth... 


I didn't get married because I wanted to shower and brush my teeth everyday... I mean, what's the point of getting married if you still are expected to shave, shower and smell good? 


I thought you did that because you wanted to get a girlfriend... Not because you already had one!


Tomorrow, in part two of this report, I will investigate why older, married couples never have sex... Stay tuned!
  

How to Achieve Enlightenment

I've always wanted be to be smart, wise and patient. I've always wanted to be like these older guys at work who always smiled, held high positions of esteem and were well liked and respected by their peers and everyone at work.


I've meet lots of these types of people. Many of them were the presidents of huge companies that dealt with hundreds, if not thousands, of employees. They handled hundreds of millions of dollars in their corporate daily affairs... 


And, almost every one of them, has been a very calm, patient, wise and polite gentleman. I've know and worked with some of them almost everyday for a few years and never seen them get bent out of shape or too worried about the little things that seem to drive most of us crazy.


I know one of them very well and he retired at 48-years-old, is a multi-millionaire, and he never gets upset about anything.


When I grow up, I want to be like him.


In my life, I've always wanted to become more patient and understanding of people. I always get so frustrated at myself when I get mad at people for silly things or when the brat child that lives inside of me comes out and lashes back at people who irritate me.


See? These people irritate me! Just the fact that someone can irritate me for anything shows just how very far from enlightenment and happiness I really am.


I've been studying Za-zen Buddhism and Transcendental Meditation on and off for at least 20 years. I am a bad student. 


In my search for enlightenment, I've met many priests and become friends, very good friends, with several. In fact, a few Buddhist priests and I have been drinking buddies. I've often asked these good gentlemen to help me in my search for enlightenment.


I know a world famous Za-zen priest named Hakuginryu. I don't know his real name. Everyone just calls him "Hakuginryu." When the Afghanistan war had just started, he and several of his priest friends walked across Afghanistan to bring world attention to the troubles of that country. They walked from the border on east Afghanistan, from Kandud to the western border town of Kamml Khan... That's a walk of about 1,400 kilometers (about 900 miles)... Barefoot!


No kidding. These priests all walked from east Afghanistan to west Afghanistan barefoot and without any military protection at all. Many people would think they were just plain nuts.


My mom would have agreed. When I was 16 or so, I told my mom that I wanted to go to Japan to learn how to be a Zen priest and my mom got very upset. She said, 


"You are not going to Japan to go live on some mountain like a hermit like those crazy priests!" I think that was the most adamant she ever was against something I told her that I was thinking about doing excepting joining the US marines or getting married to my first wife. 


But I digress...


I've asked Hakuginryu how it is that I can achieve enlightenment and he (and the others) have always told me the same thing: If you want to achieve enlightenment, stop reading books and pick up a broom.


There is an ancient Zen saying:


To achieve enlightenment; clean up your area.
After enlightenment; clean up your area.


Every time I take out the trash, I remember this saying. Every time I wash the dishes or sweep the floor or trim the hedges, or vacuum or clean in general, I remember this saying. Doing so, helps you to get closer to where you want to go. With every dish I wash and every speck of dust I collect, I pick up one speck of therapy for my soul.


Consider the future. When I turned 35...I told a friend, "15 years ago I was 20. 15 years from now, I will be 50."


Now, I think about my life. Someday, very soon, I will be 80. 


Everyday I think about my life... Everyday I think about achieving enlightenment and becoming happy.


Everyday I think about my children. Everyday I remember: "Great things and ideas are not borne from filth."


In 35 years I will be a very old man and probably very sick. I want my children to be happy. I want to be contented and happy.


I must achieve enlightenment... I must:


Take out the trash.....


Wash the dishes....


Make food....


Work at a job and earn money....


Be kind....


Everyday, I must clean.... And, after I finish cleaning, I must clean some more. 

   My daily activities are not unusual,   

I'm just naturally in harmony with them.   

Grasping nothing, discarding nothing...   

Supernatural power and marvelous activity -   

                             Drawing water and carrying firewood.                                                                      -    Layman Pang-yun (740-808)